Fostering Moral Parenting Through Parents

In an informal meeting, several parents expressed concern about the collapse of moral values of our nation. Among them is the unfolding of many cases of corruption, abuse of marriage partner, or behavior of "bullying" among school children. They asked what was wrong with parenting as a source of moral formation of man?

To respond to this, I want to discuss about what is meant by moral values and moral development at someone, then how parents can improve the moral values within the family. The discussion will be for me in writing twice, given the limited space for this column.

Moral Values

From Big Indonesian Dictionary (1991), the term moral meaning of certain teachings, good or bad actions, attitudes, morals, manners, decency accepted by the people in general. According to Linda and Richard Eyre (1993), moral values are standard actions and attitudes that determine who we are, how we live and treat others.

Good grades can make people better, live better, and treat others better. As for the meaning of morality is the behavior that is believed by many as true and have proven to be a nuisance to others, even contrary will please others.

12 kinds of couples Eyre importance of moral values that need to be inculcated in children, namely honesty, courage, ability to find a peaceful, confident, self-discipline and attitude to know the limits, purity, loyalty / trustworthy, respect / reverence, love / affection, not concerned self / sensitivity, kindness and justice / compassion (further discussion about the moral value of these 12 will be given in subsequent papers).

Moral development in terms of psychological

The development of the moral aspects in a person occurs gradually and is long and slow process. The developmental psychologists agree that a baby is classified as a nonmoral, in the sense that his behavior is not guided by moral norms. Recently gradually he will learn the moral code of the parents / caregivers and teachers and his playmate.

Moral development in early childhood (2-5 years) still at modest levels. Children are not able to understand abstract principles of right and wrong. In this stage, the child automatically follow the rules without thinking or judging. He considered all the action as right or wrong based on consequences, rather than on their underlying motivation. They think that the act is wrong is the resulting penalty.

In the initial stage, the child-oriented and punishment-compliant in the sense that he considered the true physical harm caused by actions based on the act. The next phase of new children adjust to social expectations in order to get credit. In this period the child had not developed a conscience so that he does not feel guilty or ashamed when doing something that is known as something wrong. Instead he fears punishment or trying to justify his actions to avoid punishment.

At the age of 10-12 years, children increasingly expanding their social concept that deeds include any situation, is more than just a special situation. Rigid notion of right and wrong, learned from parents, to be changed and the child begins to take into account the special circumstances surrounding violations of the moral.

Moral relativism replaces the rigid moral. For example, for children 5 years old, lying is always bad, but for older children to realize that in some situations, lying is justified and therefore not always a bad lie.

Adolescence

Entering adolescence, he is expected to change the moral concepts that are specific in childhood with the generally accepted moral principles and formulate it into a moral code that would serve as guidelines for behavior. Now, he must control his own behavior, which was previously the responsibility of parents and teachers.

He is expected to consider all possibilities to solve a problem and accountable. So he can look at the problem from several points of view and solve them by taking as a basis for consideration of many factors.

Teenagers are no longer blindly accept the moral code of parents, teachers and peers. Currently, he wanted to form his own moral code based on the concept of right and wrong that has been modified and repaired to suit a more mature level of development and which have been equipped with the laws and rules that have been obtained previously.

Some teenagers have even completed their moral code with the knowledge gained from religious instruction. Formation of a moral code was difficult for adolescents because there are inconsistencies in the concept of right and wrong is found in everyday life.

Slow or fast, teens will understand, for example, that friends from different socioeconomic background, religion or race, has a different code on the wrong-right, that the moral code that parents and teachers are often more stringent than the code peers.

By understanding the development of moral values in a person, it is expected the parent can adjust the ways / methods of parenting in accordance with the age of the child.