Drop Again, Drop Again

That's three times I relate to the opposite sex in order to settle down because I've aged 31 years, but fail again, fail again. Indeed, I knew I was a little temperamental, and I often do not willingly if the prospective wife and I share their concerns with the opposite sex although they are by reason of her friends are old friends since I was in high school about 10 years ago.

Events that happened weeks ago, I was so angry with my boyfriend because I know that my boyfriend had to go watch a movie, midnight show, with some comrades office, but his male friends are accompanying the watch as well. Of course I was furious so uncontrollably I threw the car keys into a frame glass wall hangings, glass shattered, while I shouted loud, angry with my boyfriend.

At that time my girlfriend was in the living room of my home. What happens then? I was shocked because once he asked to end the relationship because she could not bear with my temperamental attitude. Mother, I am sorry, because in between my last three girlfriends, which is what I think most "fit" and my parents also have to agree. Moreover, a few weeks ago, my parents were acquainted with her parents and has started to mention about our wedding plans.

Honest Mom, I'm sad, upset, guilty, and sorry with what happened that night. I should not have such a temperamentalnya, should I hold back emotions and willing to listen to his explanation. In fact, I know he's a hard worker and just got home from work around seven o'clock tonight. So, did occasionally, he needed a refreshing, go with friends to watch a movie theater office since midnight show Saturday and Sunday is the time we were dating.

He also explained to me that why did his male friends are accompanying her friend to watch due to chance was in her house (her male friend is already so familiar with my girlfriend's family, while his office friends gathered at his house before going to the movies). Mother, I've apologized, but he's not willing to forgive and still not going out with me again, Mother, help me so that I was not such a temperamental back.

Similarly T with teary eyes.

Psychodynamics

From the results of psychological examination, it seems true that his emotional control was weak, even T is dominated by impulsive tendencies. That is, what appears momentarily in the minds and emotions will be disclosed without control. Besides, T is a closed private, less flexible in the association, and are more likely to be asocial (loner, less outgoing, and can be friends only with people with personality type is also relatively solitary).

Aggressive emotional appreciation often dominates his public and in our daily interactions with peers at school and work today tend to hold with all his strength, but the real aggressive expression in the form of throwing objects, hitting walls, and slamming things around it will be done at home. In this situation, both parents and the servants are not able to control it so impressed the home environment to tolerate such aggressive behavior significantly.

There are various hypotheses why T developed with these characteristics.

1. General mental characteristics within T is relatively weak, so vulnerable to emotional stress from the environment in which T is located.

2. Incidentally T is the only child of extremely expected presence in this world by her parents with the socio-economic background which is very excessive, so after a variety of medical and nonmedical efforts by both parents, the Lord entrusted his mother's womb at T fetus. Can imagine, how happy the couple, extra protection against small T can be understood and indulgence in the parenting process, both material and nonmaterial can not be ignored.

3. In the context of emotional indulgence, not a possibility, the social challenges faced at various stages of T mental development later (because the current 31-year-old T) are less successful develop an attitude of blaming the environment more than to find fault / open yourself to the feedback from the environment. Consequently, T does not learn from previous failures that made the T is always repeating the same mistakes, in this case, the reaction temper without control of the three ex-girlfriend.

Solutions

Cognitive behavioral therapy, accompanied by an emotional approach based on Rogerian technique (client's centered therapy) with a note:

T * Willingness to work together during the process of good therapy because cognitive behavioral therapy is only effective if the client shows the optimal working alliance and the therapist can create a psychological climate that supports the alliance relationship mentioned above.

* Alliance are marked by a commitment to attend each session the client agreed therapy, therapists perform a given task during the delay time session therapy.

* Willingness to client monitor and record changes in their own behavior and appreciate the success of the self in self changes in emotional control behavior even though they are in even minimal levels that occurred in the lag time antarsesi therapy.