Mother and Daughter

Apparently quite a lot of mother-whether consciously or not-is the main critics for his daughter. That caused her maiden difficult to cultivate a sense of pride and love of self, leaving a hole big emptiness that can not understand how to fill them.

The main critics

R, 26 yrs, routinely write any upset and argued with her mother.

1. Relations I and Mom is still a negative nuance. I'm hooked every time mama way or the story, I will give input on mama. Then mama angry, go ballistic, and immediately said I was wicked, insolent, wicked religion but even so, unlike baseball as a kid I used to never resist or revolt.

2. The more often be with Mom, I'm always the source of anger and quarreling mama. Would it be better if I stay away from mama. What is often thought of was to get out of the house, nge-boarding. Hu-hu-hu ... I was so scared mama with a behavior, can be angry all-out until I was screaming cursing, throwing things, then not long later, apologized and blamed himself. What happened, I became involved follow-up crushed, such as low- then stroked again, where the meaning of love which should I take? "

Women "object"?

Some young women talked about the mother who commented negatively about your body, clothes, make-up is chosen ("very fat, watch out it will be an item, like that dress, grooming, dong"). Or assess her maiden from romance with men ("men like that taken away, if so how can the appearance of behavior, when going out, mama ashamed you have not yet married!").

The other with tears in his eyes said he wanted to jump off the bus just because her mother does not care about the difficulties of his life. In fact, no less (which was carried out of their mother and father) who was forced to check her Hymen since been caught having sex with a girlfriend (somehow nuanced violence or not). Then father and mother is urging doctors to perform surgery hymen ("I do not want my child was known already 'damaged'"; "shame on the candidate besan later"). In fact, it is clear hymen surgery form of lying.

It must be the mother who made her maiden outcry was very fond of children, but most likely caught in a very stereotipik views about women. It seems the main themes of the show is to make sure kids can run the stereotypical role of women as "objects look" and "object needs" of men.

Must be beautiful, slim, likes men, have (prospective) spouses are okay, should be sexually attractive as well as obligations to maintain the "purity". When the "virginity" lost it almost like the end, who cared not how to provide support and reinforcement in children, but instead more and drop it in a ravine.

These mothers do not realize how their behavior is destroying confidence daughters. Man, women and men need to be respected with the dignity of humanity-utuhnya entirely, not just on the body is reduced, let alone mere "merchandise" is sold or not sold, damaged or still "new." Maybe it's not too painful when the stigma is given by the outside society, but when the parents themselves-are ideally become the largest source of emotional support for child-injury may be brought up to old age.

Mother of "injury"

The young woman may be able to start managing pain when understanding the mother may care for, but do not know how. Perhaps he had also become a highly charged figure of "objects". Just fill the horizon so that the mother's understanding. Maybe they believe to be beautiful and fulfilling the needs of the man's main source of happiness of women, become tense and very worried if their children fail to meet the demands of this role.

It is possible that the mother had a lot of his own inner wounds, either with his mother in the past, or with her husband, which resulted in chaos feelings about themselves. Then, the chaos that feeling was projected onto his daughter. Like the R stories:

"She suffered in her marriage life. Always sacrifice and relented from Dad, that's why, he said, I must oppose if mama baseball talk. Must listen. Mama always swore would never again curse the same story if I need to break up aja deh. But again, mom would the story again whatever it was, from the poor rude behavior, or behavior that often undermine the money made destitute. "Moreover, his mother also must have patience to bear the negative comments sisters of his father, who assess the mother is "less classy".

Perhaps pain will also be reduced if understood that the mother did not reflect the lack or bad things about children, but reflects the limitations and the wounds of the mother herself. Meanwhile, who missed his mother, who did not care, maybe can look for other female figures who can replace the role of mother to give guidance and coolness.

To be sure, the girl is not merchandise, but the man is very valuable in their own uniqueness. In the end, I hope the mothers and prospective mothers, and fathers and prospective fathers understand, if you want a positive reception from the children, affection and guidance should be shown in positive language. Sentences like: "mama glad see you wear it"; "there is still one tiknya anyway, but you are very good writing" feels soothing and definitely will develop self-acceptance.